Zone Defense

So I think my kids are ganging up on me without any true communications with one another.  Forming an alliance to break mom down to base bones.  To a point where she can no longer see anything but the backs of her eyelids.  Where her only choice is to lay down at any given place--whether it be the couch, the sidewalk, or the aisle in the grocery and take a nap.  Then their well-webbed plan can be put into action.  Complete and total maternal domination!  Freedom will reign supreme and they will finally get what they have always wished for...their kid-leashes will be clipped and they will be free to run amok and wreck havoc on the hearts of all who encounter them.

They are taking shifts...a zone defense, if you will.  One chooses Sunday night.  Here is how the play roles out...mom falls asleep at 8.  3YOG wakes her, screaming at 11.  Mom lays awake for 2 hours.  Falls asleep again.  3YOG wakes her at 3 (same drill)  Mom leaves her room...3YOG laughs!  Mom decides she's up for the day.  Mainlining coffee...

Monday mom's eyes are bloodshot, nerves shot as well.  Patience is nil.  Hope for a good nights sleep is all that keeps her going.  Mom hits the pillows at 8 again.  Things are looking good.  The hope is that the mini is so tired from the night before that she will actually sleep and have no energy to keep mom up again.  Everyone in the house will get sleep and all will be right with the world.  This is where the second defender comes in...up at 10:30 making just enough noise to penetrate the ear and wake mom from the slumber.  Note **this noise is only apparent to mom**  Dad is completely oblivious to these cries as they do not register in the male auditory cortex.  The slight bellowing continues, off and on for 2 hours.  Bringing just enough anxiety to keep mom from falling back asleep but not so much that it renders her getting up.  This, I believe, is a tactic in which the child is actually working to conserve his own energy.  This is where the sheer genius of the plan lies.  If he conserves said energy he will have just enough gusto to make mom sufficiently crazy and will be alert enough to enjoy every minute of it.

The whimpering continues at some level for the duration of the night, ensuring that mom never really sleeps.  Her eyes are shut, she is in bed, but there is definitely no rest going on here. 

So now we are here at The Day.  Is this the day that the plan can finally come to fruition?  Will mom drop to the ground at any given moment and seize?  This is the great question.  Will the minis in the Cunning Casa finally see the day that they have out-witted their parental unit and see her crumble?  The female version of the tag team just came down and requested chicken noodle soup for breakfast.  This ploy goes deeper than initially suspected.  I believe this to be a trick play in which her efforts go to convince me that it is actually lunch time and my brain short circuits.  I can only imagine what else their playbook reads.  I'm going to have to bring my A-Game to succeed against this duo.  WHERE is my manual?!?