I just need to put out my public service announcement about Moon Dough...this is a product that my princess saw on a commercial and just HAD to have. This was the one thing she asked for from Santa. Each and every time someone asked her what she wanted for Christmas she replied emphatically "Mooooon Dough!" When they inquired as to what the hell Moon Dough was she would sweetly explain, "It's a kind of proof Play-dough that NEVER dries out!" She would beam with delight and visions of this one day becoming hers.
So the day came...Moon Dough was hers. She was ecstatic. She was overjoyed. She could not WAIT to embark on a Moon Dough Adventure. I was excited as well. Who doesn't love to get something they truly long for? Who doesn't love to see their kid so happy? And for $15 I thought, this will be worth every penny. Never did I dream that the contents within would come to be the bane of my existence.
The creator of this product obviously hated their parents (or perhaps they hate kids). This is the only logical explanation for this hellacious product ever hitting the toy shelves. This is some vengeful plot that goes back to the inventors' childhood. This revenge is deep, harsh and undying. I think this person has fully achieved the desired goal to make both parent AND child miserable. The child is miserable because she joneses for the Moon Dough morning, noon and night. The parent is miserable because he has to choose whether to make the child happy and allow play to occur knowing full well the disastrous state the play area will be left in or to hear the child cry and whine for the allowance. How could one little product bring so much hate and discontent? The evident beauty of this product is that it never dries out...this is also its grief. It is the consistency of light fluffy snow. Cotton candy, if you will. Push on it hard enough and it will form a ball. But if you push too hard it disintegrates into dandruff flakes on the floor. Knowing the dexterity of toddler/preschool aged children, you should know that "gentle" is a relative term. I think they know WHAT it means but they just don't know how to make it happen. Therefore, every attempt they make to form anything turns into a disaster. It gets on their clothes, toes, shoes, HAIR and is subsequently dragged throughout the house where it sets up shop in the carpet. Little tiny specks of colored kernerballs everywhere. Truthfully it looks like a bomb has gone off in whatever room they are playing with it. I have half a mind to write the company and share this blog with them so they know the smear campaign that I am embarking on. My goal here is to notify as many parents/people as possible of what a colossal waste of money and spend of sanity this particular item is. Had I done some reading prior to purchase I would have found many parents bellowing the same sob story. You would think that the creator of this would have, at the very least, had a focus group of parents on tap trying this thing out before they started selling it. Instead they just marketed this shit out of it and hoped for the best. Unless you are willing to let your kids play with this crap outside I would highly suggest against the purchase. Now I am faced with how to get it out of my house without notice. As mentioned, this was the one and only gift from Santa. <Head hanging low and shaking vigorously>
Perhaps I should have read into the name a little deeper...Moon Dough--the shit that sends you to the Moon in fury and and has you crying "Dough!" (to the tune of Homer Simpson) each time it is used. Looks like the makers of this nightmare are getting the last laugh...but thankfully I have the Internet and can disseminate my ire amongst friends. Thanks for reading the PSA...
Blame it on Titan! I used to tell the kids the cat ate EVERYTHING!! I swear it works, at least for now!
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