Butterfly Wings

Have you ever seen those videos on the news of parents going ape shit at their kid's ball game and brawling with another family over the scoreboard--or Little Joey's performance? I used to think that these were rare, isolated incidents that one just doesn't see in real life. After the miniature gymnastics class this morning I am thinking I may actually be front row to one of these competitive chaotic clashes before I know it.

I guess I just never knew that parents were really this competitive. Now let me remind you that I am talking about TWO year olds here. The parent of said tots must accompany the child for the class as trying to wrangle the attention of these midgets without another set of hands would be physically and emotionally impossible. Now the way I see it, we are at this class to get our little ones to start learning to follow direction, meet other kids, learn the basics of gymnastics and expel a little 2-year-old energy. For the most part, all other parents agree with me. They are mellow and are also there to get their kid involved in some tumble fun.

But then there are the fanatics. In the 4 weeks we have been attending the same few are insistent every class as they were upon 1st meeting. These are my three "favorite" comments of the day:

While traveling from one gym station to the next the teacher asks the kids to "flap their wings" making "Follow the Leader" not so painful and a little more fun. As one of the Olympic Hopefuls whirly bird's out of control the mom looks at her and huffs, "Those are the most hideous butterfly wings I have ever seen!" Now, I've heard of negative reinforcement but this was ridiculous. Then one mom totally lost her cool when her daughter wasn't performing as she was directing, picked her up and gave her a little shake saying, "WHAT is wrong with you today?!? Why aren't you listening?!?" She then put her down, glared at the teacher and rolled her eyes as if to say "Sorry for bringing such a disgrace to your gym." The child then proceeded to cry and look about as worthless as her mom had just made her feel.

As we went about our 45 minute shebang, little Susie lost her attention yet again. She was off zigging when she, according to her mother, should have been zagging. Her mom took the little girl's face in her hands and repetitively scolded "Focus! Focus!" which brought me to wonder, if they are acting like this in public how the hell do they treat these poor kids at home? Perhaps it's just me and I am just not competitive enough but these actions seemed a little rash, in my opinion. We are talking about 2-year-olds with the attention span of a gnat. Can you really expect them to fall in line at the immediate moment of request and adhere to the standard of perfection? And if they don't, is public humiliation really the route to take to remedy the situation? I'm just there hoping my boy has a good time and sweats off his breakfast feast. I'm not expecting this class to produce a gymnastics champion and don't feel that applying that kind of pressure at this young of an age is appropriate. I certainly can't imagine diminishing the self-worth of a little one by telling them that their form is crap and their fricken butterfly wings are hideous. But who knows, maybe if we talk to Mary Lou Retton she would say that her folks were on her heels from the time she was walking, expecting perfection and not accepting anything but. I guess I'm just not one of those parents and will perhaps subsequently not be watching my boy on the high bar in the Olympics. I suppose if my son hits adulthood with his self-esteem intact that will be a preferred substitute!

After the numerous exhibitions of parental discipline in this tiny tot class I DO think I will be witness to my 1st mid-competition brawl without shock or surprise. I will be prepared, as I have seen from toddler hood that some folks mean BUSINESS. Little Joey is GOING to be a star even if I have to berate him/her into it! And don't you DARE speak ill of him or I'll turn the berating to you! I now see how these things get started. Seems they are "started" before the game even begins. Another fine lesson in the reality of parenthood and life. It's not always how you think it should be but it IS just the same. Learning life lessons from other's misbehavior is so much "cheaper" than making the mistake yourself, no?