An eye for an eye...

Here we go again...the shower! I swear, it's just amazing to me how much tomfoolery roots from this very location. I don't know why this is still surprising to me, it just is.

So today it's just me and The Moose. Princess sassy pants was consumed with watching Cars in her Tinkerbell "ensemble" and just couldn't conceive of it. Funny how she is torn between being a boy and a girl. I suppose I am still wrestling with that very concept so it only makes sense that she would as well. Just funny to see it proliferating so early on. And I digress...

Since the shower was a little under occupied in comparison to its normal capacity I decided to sit down and let the little man play. I also saw this as a good time to introduce him to my favorite bath time game of "Water Spicket." Actually it isn't just a bath time favorite...truly a game that I can't help but play in any body of water, be it shower, bath, hot tub, swimming pool, lake or ocean. Fill your mouth with an abundance of liquid and shoot at the nearest unsuspecting target. This game gained popularity with me in age-group swimming and carried on in fondness all the way through college water polo. If you've never swam competitively you must know that there is a bit of boredom associated with it (at least for a spaz like me) and in the boredom games must be played. I think the reason I enjoyed it so much was because it generally irritates the victim of deluge and I seem to find some semblance of joy in life simply annoying others. I also enjoy playing this game with Hubba Hubba though he finds it less than amusing. It grosses him out actually so what better reason to teach the miniature man these shenanigans? This way he can irritate my husband through me even when I'm not present. This is a true win-win in my eyes.

So I embark on my aquatic antics and proceed to spit water all over my son. His reaction is jovial so I continue. He looks at me as if to say "Hmm, how can I join in on the fun?" So he proceeds to try to fill his mouth with water but with little success. He keeps getting water in his eyes and face as he hasn't quite figured out how to breath AND ingest water AND hold it in his mouth all at the same time while getting pelted by the ceaselessness of the shower head. This is a complex concept so I just go on with my "show and tell." I continue to bombard him with my spicket and he suddenly starts looking at me with a look almost identical to that of his father...the "I'm gonna get you sucka!" look--the look of sweet revenge. Interestingly, it instills the very same fear and worry that his father's look instills in me because I know once this look is issued there will be significant action to follow. All bets are off because this look is a look of business--there is no consideration of love, compassion or attachment. It is officially "ON!" The fun part of this all is these boys are quite creative by nature and being that the midget is my man's offspring I can only expect the same level of creativity. I can see the little man's frustration climbing because with each attempt he is, again, unsuccessful in his fulfillment. He tries to catch some of the water in his hand and bring it to his mouth but this, he quickly finds, is NOT the way it is played and does not fill the oral cavity with the desired quantity of water for effective sprinkling. So he looks into my eyes with almost a toddler-esque "huff" and embarks on none other than The Golden Shower. He pees all over my leg with such a look of pride and satisfaction. He laughs. Then he starts up again as if to say "See, I get how to play the game. I just made up my own rules and upped the ante to make it interesting!" Dumbfounded (and quite constricted), I could do nothing but sit there and take it.

I guess after being a mom for almost 4 years now I figure I've been barfed on, crapped on, snotted on and tooted on--getting peed on in the shower is really the least of my concerns in the realm of disgusting. I was half tempted to correct his actions and impress upon him that urinating on others (however fun and good to release stress) is not a kind display but figured my words would fall on deaf ears. He had successfully rendered me speechless and exhibited his first clear understanding of "an eye for an eye!" This was something to celebrate, not discipline. Pee on, my sweet boy! If this is how you continue to handle life's little injustices I will continue to bellow, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!"